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Thursday
Mar202008

Hating Kylie Kwong

This is like a sport with me. I would be hungry, and turn on lifestyle channel and run into a kylie kwong marathon, and 5 minutes later be full on hate. I really don't have a problem with her actual recipes per se, it's the fact that she thinks it's Chinese cooking. If she would just own up to the fact that, being 5th generation Australian, there is actually very little Chinese left in her apart from the way she looks. Her training has been largely accredited to Niel Perry, who is well respected for being the grandaddy of fusion cooking in Australia. Fusion, not actually Asian, and especially not attributed to any particular country, let alone region. Now in comes kylie, using her Chinese looks and a part and partial knowledge of asian cooking ingredients that are widely available, in Safeway no less, (namely sesame oil, peanut oil and yellow wine which she calls chinese cooking wine, there's about 20 different varieties of chinese cooking wine but what gives right? she only can see the one that gets sold here.) and automatically gets three tv series deals, lifestyle food marathons and books that offensively overtake my Borders.

She doesn't seem to understand that Chinese food as we know it in Australia is largely Cantonese cooking, and she lumps everything together and calls it Chinese. Her palette is quite tame, just because she likes chicken feet, which frankly most of my white friends love, she thinks herself quite daring.

here are some instances:

*She was making san choi bao and she made up some crap about Chinese vegetarianism. which was utter crap, because unless you have the shaved head of a monk, vegetarianism is looked upon with utmost horror, and you'd starve in most places you go. Then as she was preparing the the bok choy she said "choy means green in Chinese, and it's spelled c-h-o-y". there are about 3 things wrong with that. First choy is in Cantonese, it means vegetables, it has no spelling but it's transliterated and not in English, where it is in turns spelled with either a "y" or an "i", and is in fact the same choy as san "choi" bao. Oh and it really doesn't belong IN a san choi bao.

*She then goes on about how there's two types of noodles, egg and rice. she couldn't be more wrong. There are some pretty rocking flour noodles in Chinese cooking. I am 350% sure she has never tasted a proper bowl of Eastern Chinese noodle soup. I've been looking forever in Melbourne for a decent bowl and it just doesn't exist. Even Shanghai (the hodge podge mecca of everything that it is) doesn't do it justice. You really have to venture out to Chang Shu, and more specifically to a place that used to exist down the street from where I grew up, for the most amazing mouth orgasm of your life. Every winter I dream of having some hot lamb noodle soup, and it is my absolute favourite thing. It was something I used to share with my grandfather, a love for noodles. I'm always going to miss that.

*Hypocrisy upon hypocrisy, she landed in Shanghai (a land of her past, a place she's never been to but feels like she "knows") and refused to try the stinky tofu. Failing to recognise the stinky tofu for what it is, actually discredits her as a foodie let alone chef.

*and now she's going on about making a Chinese iceberg lettuce salad. Honey please, there is no iceberg lettuce in China, they don't even know what it is. It gets imported to Hong Kong where they use it primarily for san choi baos and that's it. That's as far as the lettuce is used in all of "chinese cooking"

*"Everywhere I go I see familiar tastes and smells" as the camera lingers on a shot of takoyaki. yup. Japanese octopus balls. She didn't even know what they were.

*shen jian bao, pan fried Shanghai mini pork buns. I especially love how whenever she comes across any cooking or food preparation she likes to explain what it is to the camera without asking anyone about it and make comments like "the quality of a pork bun, is shown in how many pleats it has". Absolute bollocks. It merely shows the delicacy of the wrap. Oh and then she made deepfried wontons, which was created by American takeaway Chinese menus as a giveaway item.

my laptop is about to give out so I'll stop it there, and I'll turn the t.v. off. But SHUT UP KYLIE, YOU'RE NOT CHINESE. STOP PRETENDING!

All asians are by nature foodies, and anyone with any knowledge knows how much of a hack she is, she is catered to those suburban housewives wanting to add a little ethnic to her weekly rotation, and it just kinda sorta makes me sick.

UPDATE: Feburary 5th 2011, Alice breaks her silence

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    Looking Glass - Alice Qin - Archive: Past Posts - Hating Kylie Kwong

Reader Comments (87)

shit u really dun like her

March 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that was wen yi by the way hahaha

March 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Freaking A!!.

just today i saw one of her reruns on the food channel, and she was explaining that to make a shitty peasant stir fry 'authentically chinese' chop the cucumbers diagonally.

then the end of her show has her and some 'friends' going MMMM that's so good..

yeah whatever, as if they really talk like that.

July 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Brillant - keep up the anti-kylie thing...everything you have written is what me and my wife (a real Chinese girl) have been saying for a few years...

I hate this fake bitch....

Have you a similar blog about the closet gay Bill Granger?

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterandre

Kylie Kwong Sucks....I totally agree.

I have had access to cable for past couple of months and seen her series in China. Each time it gets harder and harder to watch. Today I saw the episode where she kicked that poor local guy of his wok stand and made some crap wok stir fry with her bog standard sugar, wine, sesame oil and soy sauce. Thats when I realised I hate Kylie kwong as well!! Oh and the other thing that did it was like you said the bit about the stinky tofu, just pathetic. I bet you even the cameraman tried it!!

I am not chinese but am truly offended how she thinks she can go around with her ABC budget and take over peoples stalls. I mean she cant even speak a lick of chinese. Even ramsay can speak french!! She plays up on her 5th generation chinese background (does that even count!!!) dresses up in those ghastly asian style frocks and pretends to be some historian and every locals best friend. She needs to stay on the north shore of Sydney with all the other tossers there.

Spread the word.

August 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

gosh i love your post!
My husband and I have always been saying that this Kylie Kwang just wanted to use her Asian look to earn money!! and her restaurant Billy Kwang is just sooooo overated and overpriced!!

August 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

spot on.. she's a total faker selling her "Chinese-ness" to the silly whiteys who know no better.

August 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermbe

You are absolutely spot on! Such a fake. I also hate the way she overuses adjectives: "This sweet, sour, unctuous, pungent, beautiful, tasty...." What a load of rubbish!

September 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTilly

What a nasty bunch of people who can't spell! No imagination ... Guys if you don' like it switch off and go back to watching reality TV where you belong!!!

October 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What a nasty bunch of people who can't spell! No imagination ... Guys if you don' like it switch off and go back to watching reality TV where you belong!!!

October 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I couldn't agree with you more. That was a really well written post. Her cooking is really an insult to Asian cuisine where almost every dish would consist of peanut oil and sesame oil. Please don't call that Chinese/Asian food when all you've created is a bastardized dish without any tradition.

November 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

I thoroughly agree with the posts. I can't watch any more than about five minutes. What a shame she can't just be herself and has to play the ethnic card. There are so many really talented Chinese chefs around doing authentic food, hopefully the ABC will find one of them.

December 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I saw the episode where she kicked that poor local guy of his wok stand and made some crap wok stir fry with her bog standard sugar, wine, sesame oil and soy sauce."

OH MY GOD, i was so angry when i saw that! and how she kept going "Ni, ni" and pointing. Horrible Woman :/

There's another one who is just as bad in the Uk called Ching He-Huang, however, I give her points for speaking Mandarin.

December 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Love this post!

xox Sarah

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Love the post, and absolutely agree. Saw an episode where she was cooking "hokkien mee" and she was just dicing chicken and flooding with her standard sauces and chucked all in to stir fry. wtf?. And I found her behaviour and things said while in China totally offensive and condescending. She's a pretend chinese who has found her niche and fortune by conning wasps into thinking she is actually one

January 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know I always thought I was alone in thinking these things about Kylie, as you said it's nothing to do with her recipes but the way she sells it as being Chinese. I turned off the TV after the stinky tofu incident.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPiCkLeS

ROFL! This really make my day! I thought I was the only one who doesn't like Kylie Kwong until I found this post and the one at Sarah's post! It is a shame she has to drop the "chinese" card every time she cooks something.

As much as I hate her shows, I still keep watching them for some good rant and scream at the TV screen!

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilly

wow spot on.
In the same episode of the stinky tofu i really disliked the bit where she used gross body language and yelled "me me me me" to get in front of the wok. Then proceeded to shove money into the cooks top pocket...
I would punch someone in the face if they offended me in such a manner.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

100% agree with you!! watched that episode when she was in shanghai and was appalled at her lack of effort to attempt to speak chinese to the locals!

i just flicked on the tv and a re-run of her show is on right now. She just showed her 'favourite' way of cooking rice. she calls it the 'absorption' method which consists of boiling rice in water in a pot over the stove. is she aware most chinese use these things called rice cookers?

cannot stand her!!!

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

it's true, kylie kwong sucks..

she sucks bok choy..

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Brilliant Post. She knows Jack about chinese traditions or chinese cooking. She is such a fake! She is a disgrace to both Chinese and Australians!!

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDenise Leung

I Like her ;-}

January 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i just watched an episode where she proclaims she will make a 'simple' chinese steamboat. she makes her stock from vegetables and higlights the use of lemongrass(!). she also marinates the meats. just imagine the horrible, murky mess that would make for the soup.

she tells a story of how her dad would hog all the prawns for himself. then she suggests a method for stopping 'selfish' guests, (effectively callling her dad selfish), by giving them individual mini basket spoons so that everyone does their own thing. this shows her complete ignorance of the communal activity that is the steamboat.

in malaysia and singapore, we call people like this 'phean cheak'... con artists.

January 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwei chun

Sorry for bringing this post back up, but it was a fantastic read!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhoward@eatshowandtell

i haven't gotten around to watching my china yet. i'm still stuck on the first series and trying to get over the super-depressing background music that makes me want to slit my wrists. however in kylie's defence i will say that she's not playing it up for the cameras. that's what she is like in real life. perhaps just a little overbearing? :P

January 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercx.

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