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« Relentless, and how to be it. | Main | Sleeping Configurations »
Sunday
Oct142012

He said She said

When He said "today", She said "sooner".

Greed. The greed of always wanting more than what is on offer. Even when what is on offer was bestowed unrequested, without a caveat, only a short moment before; When what is on offer was the happy accident itself. Always. Wanting. More.

He gave her permission to create narratives She had no rights to, and when the movie ended, She stayed watching the writing crawl up the screen hoping for the hint of what She wrote. Standing in the doorway, She stared this pathetic version of herself repeating patterns of former behaviour, while He flickered in and out of frame, none the wiser.

He gave her that pretty dress to wear and told her She looked pretty in it, She wore that dress everyday that month. He looked at her face without a trace of makeup and told her She was beautiful, She broke down her guard and showed Him everything behind that mask. This composed woman you see in front of you, the one who can walk into any room like She owns it, is terrified of her beating heart.

Piles of cigarette ashes fall listlessly about the carnage that is her weary body. Spent, She whiles away her days waiting for signs of her former self to return. He will always come along, giving her something to grapple on to. Life kicks back in, that smile replasters itself back on her face. What comes next would always be better, but what comes after that, invariably worse. Each time She comes back from what feels like a battle, She loses yet more of herself. Each time that truckful of woo pulls up to her door, She is yet more susceptible, gullible, vulnerable. More ashes, longer battles, heavier armour.

What gets her out that door again, and again and again is that awful notion - hope. Her greed is fuelled by her hope. She floats on by this semblance of a life with this hope, this greed. As long as He says "Today", She will always say "Sooner".

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October 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBro

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