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Monday
Apr252011

The Bed and The Light

When you look at the grand scheme of things, the place where you live is probably pretty important. Doesn't the dream always begin with the house?

But all of us are now so used to the constant state of the temporary, that trivial little things like where you lay down to rest every night becomes just the collection of what you can put up with. Here, is never where we will end up, and we will get everything that we want, There, right?

Perhaps it's just my age, and the fact that the rest of my life is all in flux, but it worries me that I'll never actually get There.

All this is to say, I don't like where I live. Try as I might to fill this space with stamps of me, to find the holding place for all my belongings, there are certain deal breakers that I'm afraid this little nook of mine does not fulfil.

A neighbourhood, sunlight, elements that would invigorate rather than the fatiguing wakings and sleepings that need to be determined by electronics.

I don't sleep anymore, I rest for stretches of no more than 4 hours at a time. I can't say if this is because of my restless mind, or the magnetic fields of all the electronics in the one studio room, but I like to think that the lack of sunlight is the culprit.

The best part of sleeping in on a Sunday was always the warmth on your face trickling inside you telling you that there's nothing you have to get up for, not today. Now there's just the hollows of my room, filled with lists upon lists.

When there's nothing else wrong with my life, I would still find something to complain about. And today, I just miss the sun's intrusion in a place that's mine.

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